Is Faith Always Dumb?

I may offend, so if you are sensitive, stop reading now. This is more of a brain dump post for me today. A couple of weeks ago I had this exact conversation with C. He found it 'odd' that I said faith is dumb or it wouldn't be faith at all. Dumb as in the logical, well thought out thing. Not dumb as in believing and following God is dumb.

The American Heritage Dictionary gives one definition of faith as:

"2. Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. See Synonyms at belief, trust."

Taking a step in faith means to do something, believing that it is what God wants you to do, that probably does not make sense to anyone else but you.

Given our current situation, and the recent developments of many Communitas Launch Team members, faith is at the front of my mind.

If we are blessed to be able to move to NYC next month with Pete having his job still for another 60 days, then we are taking a HUGE step in faith. We believe it is what God wants us to do. It's the only door that has been (assuming it does) opened for us. We believe it is a blessing. We believe that God will provide my Man with a new job within that 60 days. He may not though. That may not be His plan. We pray that it is. But if it's not and we run out of money and have to move back to Michigan, did we hear wrong? Were we not walking in the right path? We pray that the Lord will set our path straight as we try to discern His will for us right now. So, that's dumb, right? To most people it would be. It's not logical. The logical thing is for us to wait here until my Man has a job there. Then move. But that's not allowing God's glory to shine through us. If this 'fails', then does that make God look bad? Or us? Or are we just dumb?

But then take E for example. She landed a SUPER job in NYC while still living here. She moved there after settling on a GREAT salary. She got a GREAT apartment. 7 weeks later her boss has told her that it's not working out. She did the logical thing. But she is still now without a job in 6 weeks if she can't find another one making close to the same salary in order to be able to pay her rent. That wasn't dumb but yet she is still having a hard time.

Brigzy moved to NYC 3 months ago without a job because he had faith that that is what God wanted him to do. 3 months later and he is still unemployed. Did he make a dumb move by moving there without a job? I don't think so. I think he was taking a step in faith and whether or not he finds a job and stays there or not, he is following the Lord.

We believe that if we are following God as best as we can and seeking Him daily, then that is what matters. What happens to us here on earth doesn't matter. It's what happens in eternity that matters. As M reminded me so clearly yesterday, Jesus suffered. Suffered the ultimate price. For us. And we don't deserve it.

So, No faith is not always dumb. That's the point of it being called faith. There is no emperical evidence for it.

I Must Be Getting Old

My Man will be happy to read that post title today. He has always teased me about being old because I am 1.5 years older than him. It has never bothered me. I don't mind getting older, really I don't. I love the knowledge that I gain as I get older. I love grower closer to God as I mature. Except for one thing. I realized this week-end that I don't have to go-go-go attitude that I once did. Just over this past year I am feeling 'aged'. I know I'm not old in the sense that my parents or in-laws are old, not even as old as T$ and Superstar : ) but old in the sense that I can't seem to take as much on as I once did.

A year ago I considered myself much a 'carschooler'. We did our 3Rs at home and then we were off to bible study, gymnastics, dance, ice skating, karate, serving opportunities, meetings, etc. We learned on the go. This year I've put the brakes on most of that. We spend a good portion of our day on Wednesday on the road doing these types of activities but otherwise we are homeschooling at home - not in the car.

A year ago I'd start 7, 8, or even 9 projects at once. In fact, a year ago is when I started the simplification, downsizing project, prepped our house for sale (that mean painting the kitchen cupboards, remodeling the bathroom, re-finishing the basement, painting all the bedrooms) finished up our adoption paperwork, started on the NYC journey, and was full swing into homeschooling. That wore me out just typing it!

Now just praying for the Communitas team and all that every single member is going through wears me out. I know part of it is Satan. He wants me to quit. To give up. To not rely on God. It's hard. I don't feel like I have the strength to do it. In fact, I know I don't. I know God has to lift me up because I can't do it alone.

Maybe I'm having an emotional week but maybe I'm getting old too.

A Bit Humurous To Me

But probably not to anyone else. But I'm back on my roller coaster ride of not wanting to move to NYC. The girls are watching a few grammar videos this morning. All 3 of them are, of course, different types of learners. This means we often cover the same subject via many different methods.

The teacher's name on the video, "Mrs. Gramercy". Class takes place in a school in NYC. The children are multi-ethnic.

One Proud Mommy

I'm going to brag about my precious girls right now. So stop reading if you don't want to hear me go on and on about how proud of them I am right now. I try not to boast but I'm just over-whelmed with joy. Occasionally I wonder if the girls are really learning the virtues that we are trying to instill in them. Today was an instance where I'm sure they are taking it all to heart.

Today I took the girls to Target to buy their Halloween costumes. I told them last week that we were going to do this so they have had an entire week of anticipation leading up to it.

Some history first. For many years, my Mom bought the girls their Halloween costumes. When she lost her job last year, that came to an end. For their early years, I recycled them down to their siblings to get the most wear out of them. But by about 4, they had their own ideas of what they wanted to dress up as. When we started the "Big Purge of 07" last year, I told them flat out that I was not buying them a new costume and they would have to pick from what we had. In fact, we even purged most costumes that I could sell. In addition to Halloween costumes, we also had numerous dance recital outfits. Believe it or not, those are even more expensive than traditional costumes. So we got down to about the girls top 10 favorites and saved those. The girls still enjoy dress up and in fact, would probably do it everyday if allowed to. Now back to this year. A few weeks ago K#2 starting talking about what she wanted to be for Halloween. I really didn't want to spend the money on costumes nor did I know (and still don't know) if we'd be here for Halloween. I came up with a game plan.

I told each of the girls that I would give them $20 towards a costume and proceeded to hand each of them four $5 bills. Then I gave them a few suggestions. Most of the costumes were $35 - $50. There were some for less too. I pointed them all out and showed them how to find the prices. K#2 asked me what I would do. I told her I'd keep the money and use a costume that we already had. But another option would be to pick out something under $20 so that they could afford it or they could do extra work to earn extra money towards the additional expense of the costume that they wanted. Of course K#2 wanted a $35 plus a $9 wig. K#1 immediately said she was keeping her money and would use a purple dress that we have to be a princess. K#2 was very torn. She REALLY wanted to be Hannah Montana. She had it bad. But eventually she choose to skip spending her money. K#3 wanted to spend all of her money. She didn't care about saving it but I did talk her into keeping it like her older sisters were.

We had another opportunity for a lesson during this shopping trip. After this we went over to the kids clothing department. We talked to the girls about Daddy's bonus and how blessed we were that he received it and that it was more than it was supposed to be. I then explained to them about the kids at T$ school and how many of them didn't have uniforms or even socks to wear to school. They were familiar with this type of situation from prior years of doing backpacks for City Mission. I told them that we were using some of Daddy's bonus to buy packs of socks for some of the kids. Then K#1 said she would like to spend half of her money to buy 2 packages of socks and K#2 wanted to buy 1 pack. I was so proud of them! It was a wonderful moment of seeing them put into practice of their own choosing some of the values that we have tried to instill in them. Praise the Lord!

Beth Moore - Stepping Up

Wednesday began the Fall semester of T3 (Topics that Transform) at our home church, Kensington. This semester we are studying Beth Moore's study entitled Stepping Up - A Journey Through the Psalms of Ascent.

From their website:

"Beth Moore's study, Stepping Up: A Journey Through the Psalms of Ascent, is an in-depth look at 15 Psalms. Just as a song or poem can express feelings of fear, doubt, hope, and joy, these 15 psalms model how study participants can voice their own petitions and praises to our God, who is always available and ready to hear us."

Honestly, I only signed up for this study because I enjoy Beth Moore's teachings. Over the past 1.5 years, God has spoken to me clearly via her studies. Her goal for us for this study is that "she expects nothing less than a new level of relationship and intimacy with God through these psalms." THAT is why I signed up. I'm not a big fan of the Psalms nor of poetry nor of most songs in general. If given a choice, the Psalms would be one of my last choices for a study. But I'm listening and obeying God as best as I can with His direction. I figured that if this was the study for this Fall, then this was the study that I needed to do.

I went into our video session on Wednesday with very few expectations. And I was over-whelmed by the time I left after 50 minutes with how God spoke to me via that video. I was just in awe. I still am as I sit here journaling about it and preparing to do my homework for the day. Every Beth Moore study that I've ever done requires daily homework for 5 days per week. I assume they are all like that but this is only my 4th one. Here are the quotes from the video that spoke loud and clear to me:

"Whatever we are going through, we aren't staying in it. Be sure to know that we will move - either forward or backward - depending on how we seek to follow Him. You are only passing through what you are currently in. This time period is only a flash of time in eternity."

She also said "women love sameness - security". Well yuppers - I sure as heck do! I HATE the unknown. It scares the dickens right out of me. But He is teaching me to embrace the unknown and trust that HE has it all figured out already.

Lastly, she said "We need to move up to the next level - just as the Psalms of Ascent do. We need to next the next leap of faith. I want adventure. I have been scared all of my life." Yuppers again! But daily He is stretching me and I'm learning to lean on Him and not my own understanding : )

In God's economy, we must go down to go up. She has set a challenge for us for this study. We are going to spend 2 days on each of the 15 Psalms 120-134. That is 30 days of homework. She has challenged us to get down on the floor, face down, in the posture of humility, before we begin our homework. So, I'm challenging you as well. To do the same before you begin you quiet time with Him. Just try it once (assuming you are physically able to do so). I've just done it once so far and I promise you that it will begin your day in a whole new way.

Forced From the Nest

Obviously (or maybe not) I am fascinated by all things eagle. This is quite strange to me because my Dad's favorite animal/bird is an eagle. I grew up in a house FULL of eagle statues. Eagles just bugged me. Perhaps it was all of the hours of dusting in my childhood years. Yes, I do indeed hate to dust and keep as many things that require dusting out of my home. I was just reading this about eagles and found it interesting. Pay particular attention to the last paragraph. I feel like I am being forced out of the nest.

"The following is a quote from her book, "An Eagle to the Sky" (1970).

"The.....eaglet was now alone in the nest. Each time a parent came flying in toward the nest he called for food eagerly; but over and over again, it (the parent) came with empty feet, and the eaglet grew thinner. He pulled meat scraps from the old dried-up carcasses lying around the nest. He watched a sluggish carrion beetle, picked it up gingerly, and ate it. His first kill.

Days passed, and as he lost body fat he became quicker in his movements and paddled ever more lightly when the wind blew, scarcely touching the nest edge; from time to time he was airborne for a moment or two.

Parents often flew past and sometimes fed him. Beating his wings and teetering on the edge of the nest, he screamed for food whenever one flew by. And a parent often flew past just out of reach, carrying delectable meals: a half-grown jack rabbit or a plump rat raided from a dump. Although he was hungry almost all the time, he was becoming more playful as he lost his baby fat; sometimes, when no parent bird was in sight, he pounced ferociously on a scrap of prairie dog skin or on old bits of dried bone.

The male eaglet stayed by himself for the most part. He was no longer brooded at night. Hunger and the cold mountain nights were having their effect, not only on his body but on his disposition. A late frost hit the valley, and a night wind ruffled his feathers and chilled his body. When the sunlight reached the eyrie's (the brood in a nest of a bird of prey) edge, he sought its warmth; and soon, again, he was bounding in the wind, now light and firm-muscled.

A parent flew by, downwind, dangling a young marmot in its feet. The eaglet almost lost his balance in his eagerness for food. Then the parent swung by again, closer, upwind, and riding the updraft by the eyrie, as though daring him to fly. Lifted light by the wind, he was airborne, flying--or more gliding--for the first time in his life. He sailed across the valley to make a scrambling, almost tumbling landing on a bare knoll. As he turned to get his bearings the parent dropped the young marmot nearby. Half running, half flying he pounced on it, mantled, and ate his fill." [end of Frances’ quote]

I thought that story a profound parable of our journey with the Lord. When it’s time to leave our nest of comfort and learn to fly, we get so hungry for the Lord that we are willing to leave our comfortable surroundings and abandon old childhood habits, all for the taste and fill of strong meat dropped from heaven. Strong meat is not easily palatable, but when one becomes hungry enough, it is."

Quick Update

Just a quick note to say that we don't have an update : ( Something is in the works that may allow us to move around November 1. We thought we would have a firm solution today but it turns out that it is going to be another 12 days at best. Just about a week before we leave for NYC to look for an apartment ... All is God's perfect timing. I'm OK with that right now. I just was really getting my hopes up to know SOON.

Tonight at our Sunday Night Communitas Gathering (I'm not exactly sure what we are calling these meetings yet), Mother M shared a dream she had. It was incredible! It dealt with birds falling out of their nests and being carried by their Mamma bird back up to their nest. It immediately sounded to be like our eagles learn to fly so I shared with her the little bit that I knew about that. It sparked a renewed interest in eagles. I couldn't find my orignal email from CPopp that explained it but I was able to find information on a few other websites. I thought you might find this interesting. Copied from Natures Designs Online.

"*Eagle parents are very attentive and keep their eaglets warm and dry (under their wings) until after the young eagle has grown all their feathers. Then the parents will “stir up the nest”. This stirring means tossing out all the soft nesting material (rabbit fur, and feather down) and forces the young eagle to stand on their own feet in order to strengthen their muscles and talons in preparation for eagle life. Now Deuteronomy 32:11 “As an eagle stirreth up her nest -- so shall the Lord lead you” should make more sense. Bottom line: Eagle parents always have the best interest of the eaglets at heart even when it seems harsh. The young eagles must learn to stand before they fly.

*When young eagles are old enough to fly, they do not realize they are capable of flight. In fact they are still terrified of falling out of the nest (their comfort zones). The young eagles have spent their whole lives trying their best not to get close to the edge of the nest. Other birds (like ospreys) can coax their young out of the nest with food, but it is not so with eagles. Inevitably the day comes when the parents have to kick them out of the nest for their own good. Mama eagle must physically push them out of the nest while Daddy eagle circles nearby waiting to catch them if they are so paralyzed by fear they forget to open their wings and start gliding. Have you ever felt afraid to leave your comfort zone? Then you do know what it feels like.

The good news is if they can’t get the hang of gliding quickly, Daddy eagle will gently catch them before they hit the ground and he will return them to the nest. The bad news is, in a few more days Mama eagle has to kick them out again until they finally learn to fly. Did you know young eagles HAVE to be forced to leave their comfort zones and learn to trust the invisible world (air and wind) in order to learn do what they were predestined to do? Isn’t that very similar to the way humans must be forced to leave their comfort zones in order to conquer their fears, and take a leap of faith into the unknown invisible spirit world? Now at least you have a better idea of what God is referring to when He says “I carried you on eagles wings” (Exodus.19:4.)

After young eagles learn to fly, they love to soar up, up and away. That is what the Prophet Isaiah was referring to when he described “those who wait upon the Lord … THEY SHALL MOUNT UP WITH WINGS AS EAGLES” Is. 40:31. Eagles are the only birds that are known to fly up over the storms of life to the blue skies and the warm sunshine. Have you ever flown up over all the storms of life to the invisible God where the warm SON shines and there is nothing but blue skies? Bottom line: Do you have a real prayer life that fills you with comfort and hope even when the storms rage all around you, or is your prayer life pretty much screaming in fear and panic as you fall?

When eagles get sick from eating something they shouldn't’t have, they will fast for long periods of time until they are well. When eagles get old or their feathers have been damaged beyond repair, they will find to a high, safe place and pluck out all of their old feathers and “wait” until all new feathers grow in. They instinctively know what to do in hard times and come out of their trials looking like young eagles with their health and strength renewed. If you know these few eagle facts, the benefits of patience, fasting, solitude and prayer become increasingly beneficial. I hope these few eagle facts help you grasp the depth of meaning in Isaiah 40:31.

Can you see through God’s eagle creation how He always keeps our best interest in his heart no matter how much we distrust him, cry about what we don’t want, and complain about how he is not treating us right? Did you know than Jesus Christ taught people that God is like the invisible air around you? “ Though you cannot see the wind, you can see what the wind does”. He went on to ask a question that is just as vital today as it was 2000 years ago. “ If I speak to you of earthly things and you can’t grasp that, how can I speak to you of invisible heavenly things? Read John 3:1-21 for the whole story."

NYC Here We Come

First, I know, it's been far too long since I've posted. I've had many things to post about BUT 1) We have had major internet issues around here and 2) Fall is here. I just love the Fall. It energies me. So I've ramped up for a new year of homeschooling. Yes we do school year round but we cut way back in the summer time.

Next, my Man has been working on some job prospects that have kept me on the edge of my seat. I haven't wanted to post until we know anything for sure. That could be another week or two so I thought I better give an quick update.

Today I booked a flight for my Man and I to head to NYC for THREE intense days of apartment searching October 8 - 11 via Spirit Airlines $9 Fare Club. Gotta love that! We did pay a little more to shorten our trip but it is still cheaper for both of us to fly than it was for Pete to fly alone back in June. I know I'll miss the girls if we stayed a full 6 days so this felt like the right plan for us. Plus, we didn't want to over-stay our welcome there either. Our prayers now are that this is the door that God wanted us to walk through and that He will provide us with the perfect apartment in 3 days : )