We're Moving

When the adoption began to look like it was going to happen sooner rather than later, we realized that this was God's plan all along. We were not moving to Manhattan. As crazy as moving there with 3 girls seemed, it seemed even crazier to move there with a new special needs baby in tow. Here in Michigan, we have a support system. Close friends and family that are there when we need them. Sure, we would have Communitas in NYC, but that wouldn't be the same as the relationships that we have here in Michigan. It also meant that an 800 sq ft two bedroom apartment would not be as doable as we thought it would be. That on top of many other factors, we knew we weren't moving to Manhattan. I'll save all of that for another day.

But now that we weren't moving to NYC, where were we moving? Somewhere else? In Michigan? Troy? Detroit? An apartment? Our old house? Both Pete and I agreed that we wouldn't make a decision until we both felt the same way. This left us in limbo for quite a few months. The most logical thing for us to do was to move back into the old house. The lease on that was not up until March 31, 2009 so we knew we had a few months to try to figure things out and hear from God.

By January I was sure that we were moving back to Troy. I thought our old house. But just to be sure, I thought we should look at buying another house. Pete agreed so I started talking with a real estate agent in February and looking at foreclosures. This only felt right if it was happening so that we get a great deal. We could potentially find a bigger house with 4 bedrooms, in a better school district, for less money. Eventually we went through the offering and declining process on two different houses. Both in Troy, essentially the same houses, with one slightly larger. Our prayer was always that if this was not the plan, the He would close the door. And close the doors he did. When we lost the offer on the second house to a lower bid, it was obvious that this was not His plan for us. But now what? Pete still felt drawn to D. Some days I do too but I'm not ready for that yet. Not now.

We again agreed (for those that know us both well, you know that us agreeing on anything is a big step in of itself : ) that we'd wait until we returned from China to make a final decision. We had an agreement with our renters now that the lease was ending, that we'd both give each other as close to 60 days notice as possible. They were in their own limbo and weren't prepared to re-new the lease either.

After 1.5 weeks in China, I just knew that we were supposed to move back into the old house. As frustrating as that idea was (having sold 80% of our belongings, of which we now need to buy at least 40% back again) it felt like the right thing to do. I needed safety, simplicity, and security. I know Troy. I know that house. Since we had prepped that house to sell originally, I knew that it wouldn't need much work. Maybe some painting and cleaning, but nothing else. Now if only Pete would feel the same way.

Eventually Pete came to same the conclusion. We'd move back into the old house. But not our old lives. Things have to be different this time around. We've released our attachment to 'stuff' and vowed not to accumulate so much again. We also know our lives need to mean more than our usual surburbia living. We don't know exactly what that means yet, but have faith that God will show us, step by step. He has already started to reveal a little by our growing involvement in the Cass Corridor area of Detroit.

Pete contacted our renters and terminated our lease. Because we don't have an exact move out date, we told them that we can be a little flexible with the beginning of May. I'm hoping to back in and settled for Mother's Day. But I also know not to count on what I want either.

Adoption Blog

We are preparing to leave for China so I'll only be updating Kaiden's blog while we are away. You can keep up with us over there:

God's Plan - Our Journey to China

Leaving on a Jet Plane

14 hours until take off.....

Update on Kaeterina

Kaeterina arrived at St. John's Hospital in Detroit at 10:30 am today to have her endoscope with biopsy done at 12 noon. She was anxious about having it done but the nurses were SUPER! They made the whole experience as good as it could possibly given the circumstances. They talked her through everything that they were going to do. Then they let her pick out a movie to watch on a personal DVD player. After awhile the doc came in and explained how they were going to put her to sleep. Then the nurse brought her a sedative that made her sleepy. She doesn't even remember watching the end of the movie. The procedure went very quickly. I don't think she was away from us for even a full hour. After she started to wake up the nurses brought her back from recovery so we could sit with her. She was allowed to have as many popsicles as she wanted but she just wanted half of one red one. Then as we were wheeling her out in her wheelchair ride, the nurse let her pick one Beanie Baby to take home. She was very excited about that.

The good news is that everything looked good. The bad news is that everything looked good. We still do not have a diagnosis. The gastroenterologist took a biopsy of the stomach to rule out Celiac disease for sure but we don't think she has that. She has lost 2 more pounds so she is up to a total weight loss of 8 pounds in just less than 4 weeks. The gastro doc suggested anxiety or depression. While that would make perfect sense with all that is going on, I would have thought it would have happened sooner. It just started after the vomiting 4 weeks ago. We'll get the biopsy results on Monday (when we'll already be in China). We have to keep her on Pediasure to help her gain weight back and at the very least, stop her from loosing any more weight. It's hard to get her to drink as much as she needs because she keeps telling us that she's not hungry.

By Big Girl

Well my big girl, K1 has started her own blog. It'll be a good learning experience for her. She'll get to practice her typing and her language arts all at once. And, get this, the girl is more popular than her mother. Not that that's any surprise to me. Who'd read what I have to when they could read the true reflections of an 8 year old who has been jaded by the world around her yet. We started it so she could journal her journey to China in a fun way. Her friends E and M started blogging this past week as well. She's had a lot of fun reading their entries too. I hope she's able to keep it up better than her mother is.

By the way, she picked this picture out herself to put on her own blog. She is looking like quite the silly girl! She was trying to catch snowflakes in her mouth at the BBQ with the homeless in Detroit back in January. She had a ton of fun that month with all of her friends.

Challenges

I know I haven't been posting here much these days. I'm trying to keep our adoption blog up as best as I can. There is a lot going on in our lives right now. Not that there isn't normally a lot going on in our lives, in most peoples lives. It seems like more than normal right now. I like to have multiple balls up in the air at a time on most days. But even this has been too much for me. I told a good friend yesterday that I feel like I'm on the verge of a break-down. I'm not really and I don't know what that would feel like but I feel like it's getting close. I know that God will only give me as much as I can handle and that He'll give me the strength to handle all that He gives me, but gosh, I'd like a break today. I've tried having this conversation with Pete a few times about how I'd like to just have a normal life. Just for a little bit. Then I see this video today. Whatever. I'd like to lay down on the balance beam today. If only for just today. But I know I can't. Too much to do before we leave for China. Which is exactly one week from today.



"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Phil 4:13