Thursday, December 27, 2007

Hearing GOD


As part of the NYC Plunge that we experienced in September, we were asked to read a small book called "Listening Prayer". Now quite honestly I've never wanted to "hear" God's voice. I think if I heard what I thought was God's voice audibly, I'd just pass out. I do however "hear" God in many other ways. He designed me, so he fully understands how I need to "hear" him.

I've been on a quest for about 8 months now to learn to pay better attention to when GOD is speaking to me. I read another book called Wavelength where the author Petherick sighted many examples of hearing GOD and that started me on my quest. It was a GREAT book! Easy to read and very interesting. Then I attended the taping of a video segment at Kensington title "24/7" with Jesus. I learned even more there. Then the Listening Prayer book. Then in September I joined a T3 (Topics That Transform) bible study on Daniel by Beth Moore. More learning to hear GOD. I pretty much hear him talk to me on a very regular basis. Not audibly - but he sends me very clear messages. If you read my very first post, then you know HIS most recent message to me. Kensington is doing a short two week series on Hearing God and I've REALLY looking forward to it.

I don't think I realize just how often GOD tries to talk to me but I just don't pay attention. So I'm going to try here to post when he talks to me.

A few nights ago, my man and I were painting the basement walls (we are finishing off the basement in hopes of bringing our house one up on the others for sale on our block - nice vacation for my man, I know) and of course our most frequent conversations revolve around the logistics of this move (selling or renting this house, jobs, school, etc.) I asked if he had been praying about the house sale and job hunt most specifically. I said that I feel almost guilty asking GOD for the things we need to move - it just feels selfish on so many different levels.

At one of our Launch Team meetings last month, M (whom I highly respect as a very spiritual woman) said that the Holy Spirit was prompting her to tell us to pray "high" so to speak. I took that as ask for the impossible. She said "It's all been taken care of - just ask." Well I've still not felt comfortable asking for what it is I think we need to move. So this was the basis of our conversations - what is right and not right to pray for. I'm not sure that even makes sense.

My man reads nightly to oldest daughter, K1, out of a book I bought them titled "Bedside Blessings" by Charles R. Swindoll. Well after our little chat, he goes upstairs to tuck K1 in and read to her. He then comes downstairs and shows me what that nights' reading was:



December 23
"If we would ask more, we would have more. But because we don't ask, we don't have. I wonder how many wonderful gifts are left unwrapped in heaven because they were never asked to be unwrapped on earth? They just remained there, unasked for."

You do not have because you do not ask. James 4:2

I've started praying and asking for the BIG things for I know GOD has gone before us and the Giants aren't so large after all.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

My Dad

My Dad is what you would call the strong silent type. He rarely expresses his true feelings about anything. Once in my life he wrote me a letter. That was it. Otherwise on one ocassion I recall him telling me to listen to the lyrics of a song and that would explain things. I think he's just afraid of crying and being vulnerable. I get that from him for sure. Earlier in the week I was talking with my parents about the move. I've never lived more than 15 minutes from my parents in my life. Now I'm moving a days drive away. I knew it would be hard for them but I didn't know how hard. I asked him why he wouldn't talk to me about the move. He said to look up the lyrics for this song by Billy Ray. I don't normally like Country music but it's all he listens to (he's a real red neck so to speak and proud of it). I googled the lyrics and found a video on You Tube. I guess after listening to this, it is really hard for my Dad but at least he's not being negative about it which is what I was expecting.



Here are the lyrics:

"Ready, Set, Don't Go"

She's gotta do what she's gotta do
And I've gotta like it or not
She's got dreams too big for this town
And she needs to give 'em a shot
Whatever they are

Looks like she's all ready to leave
Nothing left to pack
There ain't no room for me in that car
Even if she asked me to tag along
God I gotta be strong

She's at the startin' line of the rest of her life
As ready as she's ever been
Got the hunger and the stars in her eyes
The prize is hers to win
She's waitin' on my blessings before she hits that
open road
Baby get ready
Get set
Don't go

She says things are fallen into place
Feels like they're fallen apart
I painted this big ol' smile on my face
To hide my broken heart
If only she knew
This is where I don't say what I want so bad to say
This is where I want to but I won't get in the way
Of her and her dreams
And spreadin' her wings

She's at the startin' line of the rest of her life
As ready as she's ever been
Got the hunger and the stars in her eyes
The prize is hers to win
She's waitin' on my blessings before she hits that
open road
Baby get ready
Get set
Don't go

She's at the startin' line of the rest of her life
As ready as she's ever been
Got the hunger and the stars in her eyes
The prize is hers to win
She's waitin' on my blessings before she hits that
open road
Baby get ready
Get set
Please don't go

Don't go
Don't go
She's gotta do what she's gotta do
She's gotta do what she's gotta do

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Service this Past Sunday

We had a nice little snowstorm on Saturday night. I mentioned to my man that maybe we could skip service on Sunday because it was all about membership and we are already members. But I was scheduled to serve so we couldn't skip it after all. In the 18 months that we have been attending KCC, I think we have only missed twice (once we were all deadly sick and the other time we were in NYC). I truly look forward to service starting my week off on the right foot.

I'm glad we ended up going. We go to the 9 am service which always has the lowest attendance I think but it was SUPER low this Sunday. People had to get up out of their comfy seats to pass the basket for the offering. I'm not used to having to get up during service since leaving my Catholic roots : ) Big Steve was the Pastor and he is just hilarious!

During service, they showed a video they taped for their 10 year anniversary 7 years ago. It was AWESOME to watch again! My perspective has changed a bit since watching it the first time last year. When I heard, I think it was Paula say, we all had kids and when we had meetings, we had kids climbing all over us, it sure made me feel better about taking our kids along with us on this journey. I've seen a few of those kids grown up now and they sure did turn out terrific! The girls are the ones I've been most worried about. If it was just my man and I, I wouldn't have nearly as many concerns as I do. Raising 3 very impressionable young girls in NYC. I pray often that by surrounding them by the Jesus loving people that are on this team, it will protect them against most negative outside forces. They are already growing up too fast and I can only imagine how fast they will grow up there. I'm thankful for the other K girls, baby S and little E that are quickly becoming their buddies. They look forward to NYC meetings now and are disappointed when they don't get to go. I can't even begin to imagine what our 10 year anniversary video will look like! The girls will be around 18, 16, and 14. WOW! GOD sure does have a wild plan for this family.....

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

More Eagles....


So it has been exactly one week since my prayer to GOD for my confirmation. Being a skeptic at heart, I've been just waiting to hear my phrase again. Because in Christian circles, it is a quite common phrase. I asked for 3 times in 3 days and it was 4 times in less than 48 hours that GOD sent me the confirmation. Since it's been a week, I don't believe it was just a coincidence. It has been a few months since I had heard it before my prayer. Now every time I hear it, I think I will be reminded about how this is GOD's way of reminding me of what I need to do. This is what I came upon today:

Did you know that an eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks? The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it. The eagle does not escape the storm, it simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm. When the storms of life come upon us … and all of us will experience them … we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward GOD. The storms do not have to overcome us, we can allow GOD’s power to lift us above them. GOD enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure, and disappointment into our lives. We can soar above the storm.

Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them.

~ Author Unknown ~

To Sell or To Rent

That is the hot question these days in this Metro Detroit market for those people attempting to move out of the area. We have about 6 - 9 months until we would ideally like to move. The market has taken a dive for the past few years and seems to continue to do so. We already know we can't sell and make a profit - we can't even sell and get our down payment back. If we sell with a realtor who only takes 5%, we will still have to come to closing with a big chunk of change to sell the house. If we rent, we would most like have to use a property management company (smartest move since we will be living out of state) have to not only subsidize the monthly rent, but also pay the PMC about $150 monthly for their services (which would most likely just be our own peace of mind). So again, a loss. If we could sell it by owner, we could break even - MAYBE. It's so hard to sell a house these days that it is just doubly hard to sell by owner. So you can see our pickle. It has been probably the largest hurdle for me to climb in this journey (notice I said climb and not jump!). I've thought, that is just going to be impossible. It took us 3 tries with 3 realtors to sell our last house before moving here two years ago.

So I did the only thing I knew left to do that I should have just done in the first place. I prayed. And prayed hard. For GOD to show me what he wants us to do with this house so we can focus our energies on either renting or selling and not both or to at least give me some peace that he is going to eventually just handle it.

We've had it on craigslist here http://detroit.craigslist.org/rfs/511864533.html since the end of October. Granted, I still haven't even put pictures up but at least it was on the web as well as having a sign in our front yard. 45 days come and go and not one single call nor email. See why I am confused that if this what we are supposed to be doing, then why is NOTHING happening? So I prayed some more.

I realized yesterday that our listing had expired so I updated it (still no picture - I have it - it is just on the laptop which doesn't have a working cord right now). Within a few hours I get an email about renting it and a phone call from someone else about the sale of it. In the mail yesterday I get a newsletter from the realtor that sold us this house and today in the mail Pete gets a calendar from a realtor we don't even know. WOW! I know it is not actually selling nor renting of the house nor is it a clear idea on which way we should go but it sure was a lot of activity in just one day after nothing for the past 1.5 months. I need to just trust GOD. I know from my confirmation last week that he really wants us to go to NYC so I just have to wait for HIS timing on it ........

Thursday, December 13, 2007

And so it all begins....

I've been thinking about starting another blog (I started one last year that is specific to our adoption - see link at sidebar to read about that one) for a few months now but just have not been motivated enough to make it a priority. Well my friend T$ (http://mustardseeddistributed.blogspot.com/) started one and that kicked me in the butt to move it to the top of the To Do list. I couldn't think of a name though. I ran a few by my man and he veto'd all of them. Then today when I was telling him an incredible story (I"ll get to that in a minute) the name came to me ~Wings As Eagles ~ This story is so incredible to me that I just had to share it with all those willing to read it.

You'll be reading more about our calling to NYC - Gramercy Park to be more specific - as the days go by - but this story just has to be told first. You see, I'm not a spiritual giant by any means. I try to surround myself by some in hopes that it rubs off on me. I am a skeptic at heart but the more I try to follow Jesus Christ, the less skeptical I become. I've realized that I am really just a skeptic because I don't know all the facts. As I continue in my walk with Jesus and learn more and more everyday, I see why there is no need for me to be skeptical.

So not to skip the calling and all, like I said, I'll get to that, but just know that for the past 3 months we (Pete and I) have felt like we were called to NYC to help start this church. Now I had lots of reasons to believe that this was God's Plan for us but I never asked for a SPECIFIC confirmation of it. I just was going by faith, gut feelings, some signs, and truly Pete's feel for the call. I knew that if this was God's plan for us, then he would have major obstacles to move in order to make it happen, so then I would really know for sure. But I was having an unusually hard week and started doubting our call. I mean really, move a family of 5 (with a 6 on the way someday) from suburbia to NYC where our rent will start at $3000 for 900 square feet??? It just doesn't make sense.

My friend M from the church plant team has an INCREDIBLE story of her own confirmation that this is God's call for her. I was a teensy bit jealous that she had such a firm confirmation. So I've been trying to think of an applicable confirmation for me that wasn't "testing GOD"

So Tuesday night the girls were having a sleepover at my parents house so that I didn't have to get up early Wednesday morning to drop them off there before I had my bible study which started at 9 am and is the complete opposite direction of where I needed to be. So my man and I are home alone so I decide to take the opportunity to watch my all time favorite Christmas movie Family Man with Nicholas Cage (yes it really is a Christmas movie : ) since I couldn't fall sleep having just finished my bible study homework studying Chapter 12 of Daniel and the prophecy his received re: the end of time. I finally decide to go to bed about 2:30 am (4 hours of sleep is enough, isn't it?) and Pete prays for us. Then my confirmation comes to me. I pray to GOD that within the next 3 days days I hear the words "eagles wings" (more on why that later) 3 different times (one for the father, the son, and the holy spirit) so that I will know this really is HIS plan for our family. Not too complicated for HIM , right? Then I will DEFINITELY know without a doubt....

I wake up Wednesday morning and before Pete leaves I ask him to pray for us. He prays and I don't recall exactly what his says but out comes "eagles wings" and I don't hear anything else he said. I asked him later that night why he prayed the way he did because it was really unusual and he just said, I don't know. So I'm overwhelmed all day that this might happen. I didn't tell him about my prayer and wasn't going to until Saturday if it didn't happen.

Then today I am watching the girls at gymnastics and reading my quarterly Marriage Partnership magazine (www.MarriagePartnership.com - excellent easy read mag) and reading on page 50 about a couple that has a karate studio and read

Isiah 40:31 NIV:
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Now I'm like WOW! Twice in two days. No way am I getting the third. I think I better fast on Friday and pray all day that this is his sign.

I get home tonight and start to read my email. I received an email about a homeschool convention coming. I notice a headline about an Eagles football team. Just eagles - no mention of wings - so I click on the link just to see what it is all about and there before me is the same Isaiah verse that I had read just a few hours prior!

There, I heard "wings as eagles" 3 times in 3 days (actually 2 days) but that was my very specific prayer. Now I truly do know without an absolute doubt that GOD really does want us to move to NYC. I don't understand it all still but I will listen to HIM and follow.