I thought we (as in my Man and I) were supposed to be a team. If that is the case, then why is it that every time God blesses him, I take personal offense to it? Why can't I see that He is blessing me as well and just him? What is wrong with me?
My Man hasn't done much in the way of job searching. Not in my eyes anyways. Not the way I think he should be doing it. I KNEW this would happen. I just hate when things go the way that I know they will. My Man has only ever gotten one job by a blind application. Every other job he has gotten by knowing someone somewhere. I was afraid that he'd think this was going to happen that way too. And he does. After all, if this is God's plan for us, then He will handle the details. He finally admitted that to me on Saturday last week. I know that was hard for him. I don't have the gift of Faith. He does. God has always watched over him and taken care of him. Often at times when I thought He should let him fail. Not because I wanted him to fail but because I wanted him to learn a lesson. I always got mad at God for interfering with my plans to change Pete and teach him something he needed to learn. Can you believe I actually acted and thought that way? It was not so blatantly obvious to me then as it is now. But all I can say, is WOW. I'm something else sometimes.
When I heard the wonderful news about the A's renting out their house, I knew we were done. That would only give confirmation to Pete that God would give him the right job when it was time. And basically he wouldn't do anything about it in the meantime. That just frustrates the heck out of a controlling, planning person like me. I still have a thing or two to learn.
But God gives me the gift of Grace. I don't deserve it. I know that. But am so very thankful that He gives it to me regularly. I still need it. I hope to learn someday.
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