(I actually wrote this post on 4/29/08 but never got around to posting it that night ... )
Ecclesiastes 7:5 says, “It is better to be criticized by a wise person than to be praised by a fool!” (NLT)
A few months ago, T$ posted about his BFFs. That has been on my mind for quite sometime now for a variety of reasons. For the past 15 (almost 16 YIKES!) years if you asked me who my best friend was, I'd say Pete and my Mom. Honestly they are. I share everything with each of them and complain about each of them to the other one. My life has been quite a roller coaster and probably for that reason, I never tend to get close to anyone. Yes I have acquaintances, as I would be sure to refer to them and even some friends. I'm not a hermit after-all, just introverted. And I generally don't trust people. Honestly, I didn't really trust my Man much until about 2 years ago. That is my issue though and not going to go into that here. But no BFF. People always question that about me right away. Then we have our interview for the Communitas team. I don't think I will ever forget this. One man was part of the interview team that we had never met or even heard of. He's a well respected elder at the church. About half way through he asks who is my BFF. I say Pete. Then Pastor's Wife says, Yeah but who else? I respond with my Mom. Then this man says, but WHO else? Who do you confide in? Who to share your troubles with? Who do you complain about Pete and your Mom to? Well no one. God I suppose. I've always tried to take my troubles to Him. For Him to listen to them and then somehow I've worked it all out. That was all I had. I didn't have any other BFF. Thanks for making me feel so little Mike! (I'm just teasing!) I was thankful he was so honest with his thoughts with us even though the entire experience was unnerving. Imagine sharing your deepest, darkest, thoughts, feelings, insecurities, with 4 complete strangers! But the Holy Spirit entered the room with us and took care of it all. After that interview, I thought for sure we were out and not going to NYC! Boy was I wrong. I had friends when the girls were at Roeper and even before that. It seems my friends change though as my life changes. No BFF still hanging around from high school like for my Man. I even keep in contact with some of them. CPopp is AWESOME! I love to chat God stuff with her and kid stuff. She gets my kids - sometimes better than I do. Andy was always fun to scrapbook with. She's the only one that got that about me. MK - she's older and wiser than me and a good listener. I never went deep with any of them though. My litmus test was this - did they know my 'secret'. It's not bad - just my thing. None of them did. I didn't trust any of them that much to go that deep with them. Or maybe I didn't trust myself. I didn't want to be vulnerable. I didn't want them to judge me. I don't mean anything against any of them - I love each and every one of them for stated reasons (and hope to keep in touch once we move) but none of them can understand what I am going through right now.
Then God answered my prayers that I didn't even know I had. He put MANY wonderful women in my life via the Communitas team. They aren't all going to my BFF, but there is potential. I'm still taking applications : ) Superstar . She's AWESOME! A true blessing in my life. It was His plan for us to meet and go through this together. I can't imagine how I would handle some days without being able to email her and just whine and not worry that she is judging me. She's been a believer much longer than I have but only recently decided to follow God's plan to get uncomfortable with her life, just like me. Her girls are beautiful, sweet, full of life, AND close in age to my girls. She's just a year (or 2 is it?) older than me so we are in the same stage of life. At first I was doubtful - she's frugal - I wasn't really. She extroverted - I'm not. Her husband is a Middle School Principle and I homeschool. How would they ever get that about us? But none of that really matters. She ROCKS! I know I can email or call her anytime and she'll listen. AND her hubby and mine HIT it off! My man needed a man like hers in his life - someone that got what he was going through - someone that is not afraid to call him out when he's being a jerk either. She knows my 'secret'. I told her just a few short months after meeting her. I had to if our friendship was ever going to go any further. She didn't judge me or pretend to understand. She only listened. You have to be a believer in order to get what God has done in my life over the past two years. Sometimes I still don't believe it. We still have a lot to learn about and from each other but give me a break - I've only know her for 8 short months and she already knows half of my life story. If only she could scrap, then she would be perfect. But alas, she has no interest. I'll keep on her though and pray for her : )
Mother Maria. She's just a spiritual GIANT! Another gift from God. Seriously! She hears from God - the Holy Spirit speaks through her. She mentors me and doesn't even realize it! She's about the age of my Mom too coincidentally : ) She has four grown sons so she's been through and is still going through the mothering thing. She answers my questions (and I have a lot) and doesn't make me feel stupid for asking and not knowing. She even explains things that I probably should know about the bible and don't without acting exhausted. AND she SCRAPS! How cool is that? I was so worried I'd be scrapping ALONE in NYC but now I have her. Unless you scrap, you wouldn't understand. She loves me too, that I'll never understand.
Sarah's Mom. She's a generation older than me but her daughter is younger than my youngest so we are in the same season of life. She's quite a believer too! She's introverted so she doesn't mind just hanging out and not talking the whole entire time. She likes to cook too! How fun for me. My girls love going over to their place to play with Sarah while we chat and cook. And she makes a good cup of CAFFEINATED coffee. She's leader of the Prayer Team and making me pray out loud in the group and start to feel comfortable doing it and I don't think she even realizes it. Her hubby is just as sarcastic as me and gets that too which is an added plus.
E's Mom as the girls call her. She gets my personality. She's just as sarcastic as me. Sometimes just as mean. Not that I want to be mean all of the time to everyone but she knows that is how I show my love. And her too. And her son is the same age as K1. Very cool. She likes to cook too. I know I used AND way too much. I needed to show emphasis on all the additional gifts these wonderful women had. As if the first one wasn't enough, there was even more.
Everyone else on the team is just as SUPER and has their own specialness that they add to the team. I look forward to getting to know them all better. These are just the women that I've started to bond with and look forward to doing life with. I sincerely MISS each and every one of them when we don't meet. I can't imagine life in NYC without them!
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